"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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