My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
