i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
