you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
