You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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