Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
nutella sex= disaster
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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