I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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