i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
