winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
