??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Screwed.edu
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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