So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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