Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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