dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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