Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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