you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
