i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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