I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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