i just wanna soil my oats bro
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
