you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
