He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
