i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
