worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
