are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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