my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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