I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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