what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
