I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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