Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
