This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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