It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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