your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
