i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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