I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
