I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
