Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
