but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
