:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
