Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
