How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
