Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
