I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
