I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
