Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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