i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
