I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
