I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
