He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How naked do you want me to be?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
