i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
