I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
