Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she smelled like a LAN party
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
